Tarzan Tale Appreciator Gifts

Little-know historical fact #058 - the Tarzan call origin. Tarzan as a boy, 1 second away from a super-wedgie.

Tarzan of the Grapes.

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

Pandora's Change Purse...

"Me Tarzan. You CGI."

"I don't want our date to end, either, but my arm is about to fall off."

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

Monkey Business

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

'Tarzan'

Once upon a time and a half. William Tell shot an apple on his son's head. Plink! Nice shot, Dad! Plunk!

"Relax, that's only Tarzan's yell!"

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

Law of the Jungle: Tarzan the Litigation Man.

'Sorry Jane, I can't make it home in time. The 10-o'clock liana is delayed.'

Elvis going to the 'House of 1/4 pounders near the 'House of gingerbread'

"I live in dread of being mistaken for an undersea energy cable."

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

Gorillas in the jungle.

Tosca discovers Mario Cavaradossi is stabbed

Chelsea of the Apes

"The fish gets bigger every time he tells the story."

"Darlene....blub, blub.....we can no longer meet like this....."

"Well this is a shock. I had you pictured in solids."

Cutting Down Trees to Build the Ark

'No, those chest pains don't mean you're having a heart attack. You're just thumping your chest too hard.'

"Call Jane."

Eight medieval characters from the Canterbury Tales.

"I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll leave you to it."

Jungle snake...

REmember, no cracks about "only the good die young" around Methuselah.