Tarzan Enthusiast Gifts

"I don't want our date to end, either, but my arm is about to fall off."

'I'm not a jungle kind of guy so I'm turning to you.'

'I wish you wouldn't keep on about the 'Good old days' professor!'

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

Monkey Business

"Me Tarzan, you Jane, this Cheetah, my gimp."

"Relax, that's only Tarzan's yell!"

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"Ours is not a creative clan."

'What clan do you belong to?'

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

Tarzan of the Grapes.

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

Scottish party

Out of kilter.

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

'You must be awfully secure in your masculinity.'

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

'We are so in sync!'

Highland Piper.

'Trucker's tan?'

"Me Tarzan. You CGI."

"You're awfully tame this evening."

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

The Scottish Lawn

Scot holding a heart.

Nostradamus.

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

'You're new here, aren't you?'

Sunblock