Tarzan Aficionado Gifts

'Aaaaahhhhrrrrr...Uhhhh Oh!'

"You're awfully tame this evening."

"One word, gentlemen—'Ungowa!' "

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

'He stubbed-my-toe yell sounds a lot like his chest-pounding victory yell.'

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

"Ours is not a creative clan."

Back to school.

'What clan do you belong to?'

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

Tarzan of the Grapes.

Scottish party

Jane Goodall's study of primates in the land of oz didn't go as well as her previous projects.

Out of kilter.

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

'You must be awfully secure in your masculinity.'

"Me Tarzan. You CGI."

Highland Piper.

"I don't want our date to end, either, but my arm is about to fall off."

A Transformer for grownups

"So what do you do for a living?"

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

The Scottish Lawn

'Tarzan of the Kangaroos'

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

'How about that? -- Lady Godiva got a bouffant!'

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

Year of the Rat

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Scot country dancing,

Cast away in a life raft with Dr. Phil.

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

Monkey Business

Where Scottish milk comes from.