Tarantino Aficionado Gifts

'Are you okay, Bill?'

Tartine

"Bond James, Bond."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Ours is not a creative clan."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Bloody hell!"

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

Kritik's Korner

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

Canadian film production

Brad Pitt

Moby Dick

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

Woman at spa having bath in a Martini cocktail glass.

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

"You can tell it's a period drama because they're not wearing ozone helmets."

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

Movies vs. Films

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'

'When you said this movie's about a fish out of water, I was expecting more of a light-hearted comedy.'

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

Film Star Robert de Niro

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

"They tell me you're a man who has True Magritte."

Milkin' Impossible

Jim Carrey,