Titanic Aficionado Gifts

'Keep going...the future of trite metaphors depends on us.'

"This is like the sinking if some really, really, really big ship."

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

"You call this ice?"

The grazing deck of the Titanic.

Titanic iceberg auction

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

'If that's Dorothy, we're not here.'

"...But if you'd led back a heart instead of that spade..."

Romulus (left) and Remus

Titanic 100th anniversary

Carpe diem

'Todd here syas our plank is to narrow and may lead to lawsuits.'

"It's the racket season again!"

Mother comments on son's slender figure and a stout uncle tells her that he was the same build at eighteen.

Tennis Court - "How do you plead?"

"You'll know when I've had enough. You'll have to wipe up the mess."

'You don't need another, Herb. By the way, the sweatband goes around your head.'

Tepid Beer - Going out of Beer.

"The one on the left is Mary-Kate, the one on the right is Ashely. Beware them both."

'He is our darts team captain,he always finishes on a double.'

'I'm leaving you for someone who ignores me to watch Wimbledon!'

Spud U-boat

'I can lick any man in the house!'

Sailor with a wooden leg leaves his rowboat tied to a pier that is labeled with a disabled parking sign.