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Tartine

"Bond James, Bond."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Ours is not a creative clan."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Bloody hell!"

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

Canadian film production

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

Moby Dick

Woman at spa having bath in a Martini cocktail glass.

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

'When you said this movie's about a fish out of water, I was expecting more of a light-hearted comedy.'

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'

Milkin' Impossible

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"You're awfully tame this evening."