Tarzan Fan Gifts

"Call Jane."

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

"It's just Tarzan waxing his chest again."

Jungle snake...

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

Tarz 1

'Sorry Jane, I can't make it home in time. The 10-o'clock liana is delayed.'

'Tarzan'

'He's been insufferable since he started using Vine for pictures.'

'I was worried how the new guy would work out, but he seems to have adapted.'

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

'Hold it! Don't go after this one, it's Tarzan: He's got a big knife...'

'Gee, Hon, you know I was raised by apes.'

Gorillas in the jungle.

'I have a query about your tax return.'

Tarzan grows older.

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

"Now say Aaahh-eeh-ah-eeh-aaaaaah-eeeee-ah-eeh-aaaaah!"

Chelsea of the Apes

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

"Ours is not a creative clan."

'What clan do you belong to?'

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

Broomstick crash.

'Trickle or Spray!?'

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

Scottish party

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

Out of kilter.

'You must be awfully secure in your masculinity.'

"Devi's brew?"