Tarzan Fan Gifts

'No, those chest pains don't mean you're having a heart attack. You're just thumping your chest too hard.'

"Call Jane."

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

'That's what comes from hanging around all those apes - you're suffering from a species-identity conflict.'

"It's just Tarzan waxing his chest again."

Jungle snake...

"I just want to get back into the swing of things."

"I met him on-vine, Tarzan now swings both ways."

Tarz 1

'Sorry Jane, I can't make it home in time. The 10-o'clock liana is delayed.'

'Tarzan'

'He's been insufferable since he started using Vine for pictures.'

'I was worried how the new guy would work out, but he seems to have adapted.'

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

'Hold it! Don't go after this one, it's Tarzan: He's got a big knife...'

'Gee, Hon, you know I was raised by apes.'

Gorillas in the jungle.

'I have a query about your tax return.'

Tarzan grows older.

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

Tarzan of the Grapes.

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

"Now say Aaahh-eeh-ah-eeh-aaaaaah-eeeee-ah-eeh-aaaaah!"

Chelsea of the Apes

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

"Ours is not a creative clan."

'What clan do you belong to?'

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

'Trickle or Spray!?'

Broomstick crash.

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

Scottish party