Tarzan Stories Gifts

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'What clan do you belong to?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

Joust Sharpener

"I've told you before one at each end!"

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

Warrior Woman

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"It's the Environment's Agency's new H.Q."

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'Mayday! Mayday! I'm in the drink!'

Scottish party

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Out of kilter.

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"These are Fzjhyg's sales figures for the month? I can run crop circles round him."

'You must be awfully secure in your masculinity.'

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."