Tavern Philosopher Gifts

'Do you believe in the hereafter?', 'I'm not sure -- where are we now?'

'One reason I like hanging out with you is you give me so many good ideas for my sermons.'

'Time? Time's relative.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

Men gossiping

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

ONE HORSE TOWN

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

Brickie's Mate

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

"You're going to regret this in the morning."

'All this talk about a consumer society... I don't buy it.'

If bar stools were like playground swings...

Body by Jake

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."