Tanning Tomes Fan Gifts

Sunblock - A Novel

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

Bad fake tan day.

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

Sunbathing in Autumn

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

I know you're bored but you better not be doing that rain dance again!

-...And we don't discriminate against people of colour. -I've been on the sunbed!

"Be careful of that sun, Stewart. You're starting to look like the front page of the 'Times Book Review.'"

'Trucker's tan?'

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

"It's a belly button thermometer. When it pops up, I'm done!"

A gap between the solar panels

Revenge had come.

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

'I love us when we're tan.'

Sun Screen Denial - I Don't burn...

Sun Worshipers

How to spot a tourist on the beach.

'You're new here, aren't you?'

'Looks like they were sun worshippers.'

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

Sunblock

"I didn't know you liked ranch so much."

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

Darling, you should have asked me to put sun tan lotion on your back and not the kids!

'Medium well, please.'

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

The Sun Bather

Gym/Tan/Donut

One isn't snubbing One's wedding, One is merely celebrating One's wedding by topping up One's tan.

"Rare, medium or well done?"