Tanning Tomes Fan Gifts

Sunblock - A Novel

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

Bad fake tan day.

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

Sunbathing in Autumn

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

I know you're bored but you better not be doing that rain dance again!

-...And we don't discriminate against people of colour. -I've been on the sunbed!

"Be careful of that sun, Stewart. You're starting to look like the front page of the 'Times Book Review.'"

'Trucker's tan?'

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

A gap between the solar panels

"It's a belly button thermometer. When it pops up, I'm done!"

Revenge had come.

'I love us when we're tan.'

Sun Screen Denial - I Don't burn...

"Hee-hee! I just squirted George Hamilton with sun screen!"

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

'Looks like they were sun worshippers.'

How to spot a tourist on the beach.

'You're new here, aren't you?'

Sun Worshipers

Sunblock

"I didn't know you liked ranch so much."

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

Darling, you should have asked me to put sun tan lotion on your back and not the kids!

The Sun Bather

Celine Dion

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

'Medium well, please.'

"Rare, medium or well done?"

Gym/Tan/Donut

'Do you want it set for light, medium or butterball?'