Indoor Tanning Fan Gifts

'Ethel? It's Kay! A couple of those cheap lights in the tanning bed burned out again.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

it my imagination or is it getting warmer?"

'we must be near the water because I see a sea gull.'

-...And we don't discriminate against people of colour. -I've been on the sunbed!

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

DIY marriage counseling.

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

"Oh, you know - wearing light clothing, drinking plenty of liquids, and avoiding strenuous activity."

'You'll have to excuse Gerald - he suffers from Seasonal Affected Disorder' (Naked man in arm chair in living room)

This historic alpine hut has stood here among the native beech trees for over a century, and may stand for another, often unoccupied by always watched over by that ever playful mountain parrot, the Kea.

"Where can I find some peace of mind?"

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

"It's a Mexican Wave!!"

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

Surfing kangaroo #1 Hawaiian shirt.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

The tanning channel.

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'Apparently you forgot to pack his rubber shark.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

Curling Rocks!

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

Semi-naked A stripped Semi-trailer Truck sunbathing by the pool naked

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

Bird in sunglasses balancing on a stick.