Fake Tan Fan Gifts

'Fake tan? Not me!'

-...And we don't discriminate against people of colour. -I've been on the sunbed!

I know you're bored but you better not be doing that rain dance again!

Give quiche a chance!

Kensington Fluffies

Trump Mask

'I love us when we're tan.'

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."

Revenge had come.

Sun Worshipers

"Humans are crazy! Like life is not hard enough in winter, they have to make artificial snow!"

It bag and no knickers!

'Looks like they were sun worshippers.'

'The game was called off on account of rain.'

"Hee-hee! I just squirted George Hamilton with sun screen!"

"I didn't know you liked ranch so much."

"My Dad made it himself but I get the feeling he's never seen 'Iron Man'."

In the houseplant cemetery.

One isn't snubbing One's wedding, One is merely celebrating One's wedding by topping up One's tan.

Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm off work. Let's catch some rays! You already have a great tan from your job! You don't need to go sunbathing. Oh, yes I do!

Argh, typical! I always think of a terrifying thing to say after the s

Sunblock - A Novel

The phantom of the Oprah.

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

'Ethel? It's Kay! A couple of those cheap lights in the tanning bed burned out again.'

Emergency sunscreen.

"I'd love to but I'm stuck to the naugahyde."

'She's had so much plastic surgery that her body has rejected her credit cards!'

'They had a special at the tan salon today-- buy a full body spray tan, get a free air-brushed wizard painting!'

New born chick imitates a turtle with it's shell.

"I knew you'd like this place."

The Trouble With Cloning

"Nice talking to you."

Sunlamp causing a radiation shadow on the wall.

March of the Ducklings