Make-believe Fan Gifts

'The first ears you made were insufficiently pink and fuzzy, so their destruction in the bathtub was actually for the best!'

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

Trump Mask

Viggo Mortensen

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."

Alberto Giacometti.

'Personally, I don't question these things. My snout period will simply end when it ends.'

"My Dad made it himself but I get the feeling he's never seen 'Iron Man'."

"It's an ugly nose, but at least it gets rid of some broccoli."

Closet.

Miguel Ferrer

"I'd be a lot more comfortable with a Pisces."

Argh, typical! I always think of a terrifying thing to say after the s

Phill Jupitus

"It's cooties."

Frederick Robinson

Brancusi.

"Now it's high definition!"

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

Thelonious Monk

Memorable Jam Sessions: the night Charlie Parker asked Spike Jones to sit in on Ah-Ooogah horn."

The phantom of the Oprah.

'Please excuse the mess guys.My husband's doing a correspondence course in Embalming.'

"I'm worried about Junior... all he wants to do is kill things."

"You must be the artist."

"Oh my....Look how much you've grown."

'My favorite, not-fast-enough food.'

Kangaroo in a plane.

New born chick imitates a turtle with it's shell.

"I knew you'd like this place."

The Trouble With Cloning