Indoor Tanning Fan Prints

'Ethel? It's Kay! A couple of those cheap lights in the tanning bed burned out again.'

it my imagination or is it getting warmer?"

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'we must be near the water because I see a sea gull.'

-...And we don't discriminate against people of colour. -I've been on the sunbed!

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

DIY marriage counseling.

"Oh, you know - wearing light clothing, drinking plenty of liquids, and avoiding strenuous activity."

'You'll have to excuse Gerald - he suffers from Seasonal Affected Disorder' (Naked man in arm chair in living room)

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

"Where can I find some peace of mind?"

Surfing kangaroo #1 Hawaiian shirt.

This historic alpine hut has stood here among the native beech trees for over a century, and may stand for another, often unoccupied by always watched over by that ever playful mountain parrot, the Kea.

"It's a Mexican Wave!!"

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

'Apparently you forgot to pack his rubber shark.'

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

The tanning channel.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

Curling Rocks!

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'Try to relax, Ed. It's a beach, not sandy soil.'

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

Semi-naked A stripped Semi-trailer Truck sunbathing by the pool naked

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

Bird in sunglasses balancing on a stick.

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'