Tan Fanatic Gifts

"I didn't know you liked ranch so much."

I know you're bored but you better not be doing that rain dance again!

Emergency sunscreen.

'You're right. It's not a coffin. It's a tanning bed. He wanted to look good for the funeral.'

'I love us when we're tan.'

Painting by numbers sun oil.

'They had a special at the tan salon today-- buy a full body spray tan, get a free air-brushed wizard painting!'

One isn't snubbing One's wedding, One is merely celebrating One's wedding by topping up One's tan.

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"The Englishman goes to the beach once a year to shed his skin."

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

Our visit to the flan factory.

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

'Trucker's tan?'

Sober Tooth Tiger

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

Bake off: Flan B

Revenge had come.

'You're new here, aren't you?'

Sun Worshipers

'Looks like they were sun worshippers.'

Cast away in a life raft with Dr. Phil.

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

Sunblock

"Hee-hee! I just squirted George Hamilton with sun screen!"

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

'Medium well, please.'

Gym/Tan/Donut

'Do you want it set for light, medium or butterball?'

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm off work. Let's catch some rays! You already have a great tan from your job! You don't need to go sunbathing. Oh, yes I do!

"Rare, medium or well done?"

'For having no natural enemies we sure are not liked too much.'

"High time!"