Talking To Pets Pillows

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"Foster failure"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

Hush puppy.

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Obedience School/Disobedience School.

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"Looks like a pretty quiet night out there, huh, girl?"

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

"Projectile hairballing."

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

'If he's only five years old, how come he knows the words to 'See the USA in your Chevrolet'?'

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

'Look, Dad! -- I taught Shep to walk on his hind legs!'

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

ONE HORSE TOWN

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

Will eat your homework for $.

'Will you be wanting this?'

'You should know better than to switch channels during a Garfield special.'

'HEEL!...HEEL!'

"Only one of my lives was a bowl of cherries."

'Are you SURE you switched off the electric blanket, luv?'