Talking To Pets Pillows

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"Foster failure"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

Hush puppy.

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"Looks like a pretty quiet night out there, huh, girl?"

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

"Projectile hairballing."

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

'If he's only five years old, how come he knows the words to 'See the USA in your Chevrolet'?'

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

'Look, Dad! -- I taught Shep to walk on his hind legs!'

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

ONE HORSE TOWN

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

'Will you be wanting this?'

'Are you SURE you switched off the electric blanket, luv?'

'You should know better than to switch channels during a Garfield special.'

"Only one of my lives was a bowl of cherries."

'HEEL!...HEEL!'

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."