People Who Talk To Pets Pillows

"Have you ever asked yourself why people call you bad dog?"

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

ONE HORSE TOWN

"Only one of my lives was a bowl of cherries."

"Another slander suit!"

Noah's Ark Book Shop has two doggie doors.

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"You know what the Serengeti lacks?—Decent deserts."

"Now, let your inner ‘bad dog’ answer the question ..."

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

"I'd love to stay and chat but I just heard a silent dog whistle."

'If I am a bad dog, it's because you never took time to teach me right from wrong.'

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

"I have to bring him with me otherwise he wouldn't let me indoors."

Their flirtation ground to a halt when she heard his dog-talking voice.

'I'm not hungry. I ate with Rover.'

'Your anger towards us can't be healthy, so we hope this intervention helps.'

"I'm sorry I ever taught him to speak"

'I told you, never utter that four letter work - 'walk!''

Performance anxiety lessons, the more you practice something.

"There's nothing like dog-walking for making new friends...."

'Does my tail make me look fat?'

"So, sniffed any interesting butts lately?"

"Take us to your leader!"

"A few years ago they didn't even have a category for talking dogs."

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

'If I act selfish, independent and introverted, it's because I'm a cat trapped in a dog's body.'

'It's amazing what they let that kid get away with.'