Talker To Pets Pillows

Performance anxiety lessons, the more you practice something.

"Foster failure"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

Hush puppy.

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"Looks like a pretty quiet night out there, huh, girl?"

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

"Projectile hairballing."

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

'If he's only five years old, how come he knows the words to 'See the USA in your Chevrolet'?'

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

'Look, Dad! -- I taught Shep to walk on his hind legs!'

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

'Will you be wanting this?'

'Are you SURE you switched off the electric blanket, luv?'

"Only one of my lives was a bowl of cherries."

'You should know better than to switch channels during a Garfield special.'

'HEEL!...HEEL!'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."