Pet Conversationalist Pillows

Prince longed for the good old days when dogs were dogs.

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

"Do you think the birds like me?"

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

"Another slander suit!"

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

If dogs were psychiatrists.

'I don't care how smart you think you are, you're still a bird brain.'

"... and the fact that I ain't never caught a rabbit should have no bearing on our friendship."

"I'd love to stay and chat but I just heard a silent dog whistle."

"I can remember when he used to try to tell us things."

"The way I see it, microchipping is an invasion of our privacy!"

"Really? Everyone we hang out with we also met through our puppies."

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

"I'm expected for dinner around seven. Other than that I'm completely free."

Dog and man on couch

"Is your regret that there were three of them or that they were blind?"

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'