Canine Conversationalists Pillows

"I'd love to stay and chat but I just heard a silent dog whistle."

"There are just some things I'd rather not say in front of the dog."

"I'll have my people call your people."

'I told you, never utter that four letter work - 'walk!''

'I think we're just getting older. Tell me, when was the last time you felt frisky?'

'Are you sure Mr, Winslow will greet us with an open wallet'

'What? You want something? It has something to do with your food dish? Darn, I wish dogs could talk!'

"Boy is she mad at me! I licked her face, so she's gone back inside to apply her make-up: she has a job interview this morning..."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

'I don't care how smart you think you are, you're still a bird brain.'

If dogs were psychiatrists.

"I'm expected for dinner around seven. Other than that I'm completely free."

"I can remember when he used to try to tell us things."

Dog and man on couch

"... and the fact that I ain't never caught a rabbit should have no bearing on our friendship."

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

"Really? Everyone we hang out with we also met through our puppies."

"The way I see it, microchipping is an invasion of our privacy!"

"My Instagram feed is basically people, dog food and tennis balls."

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'