Dog Dialoguers Pillows

"Shed as much as possible. That way your owners will never be able to give you away."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'Iguana know what time it is.'

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

If dogs were psychiatrists.

"Really? Everyone we hang out with we also met through our puppies."

Dog and man on couch

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

"The way I see it, microchipping is an invasion of our privacy!"

"I can remember when he used to try to tell us things."

"I'd love to stay and chat but I just heard a silent dog whistle."

"My Instagram feed is basically people, dog food and tennis balls."

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

"What happened to what cat?"

"Say something like 'Bow-wow' or 'Arf-arf' and you'll really break them up."

"No, I've never liked chasing sticks. I though you enjoyed throwing them."

'For the future, if you wish to contact me use e-mail.'

'Gentlemen, circle around on the spot several times and be seated.' - At the dog AGM

'If evolution is real how come after millions of years we're still unable to open a can of dog food?'