Canine Conversationist Pillows

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

Bonjour!

"How did I know that would happen?"

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"Have you tried biting him?"

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

"They’re real."

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

'What is it Spot? What are you trying to tell me?'

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

Dog Messages

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

Dog in therapy.

"Now, let your inner ‘bad dog’ answer the question ..."

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

"… She's simply asking that you no longer refer to her as 'the dog.'"

"You know what the Serengeti lacks?—Decent deserts."