Canine Conversationist Gifts

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

Bonjour!

"How did I know that would happen?"

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"They’re real."

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

"Have you tried biting him?"

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

'What is it Spot? What are you trying to tell me?'

Dog Messages

'Who handles your media, Rex?'

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

"… She's simply asking that you no longer refer to her as 'the dog.'"

"You can stop now. The squirrels are gone."

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

Dog in therapy.