Doggie Conversationalist Gifts

"There's no point us both barking."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

'I don't care how smart you think you are, you're still a bird brain.'

If dogs were psychiatrists.

Dog and man on couch

"Really? Everyone we hang out with we also met through our puppies."

"I'm expected for dinner around seven. Other than that I'm completely free."

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

"... and the fact that I ain't never caught a rabbit should have no bearing on our friendship."

"I'd love to stay and chat but I just heard a silent dog whistle."

"I can remember when he used to try to tell us things."

"The way I see it, microchipping is an invasion of our privacy!"

"Is your regret that there were three of them or that they were blind?"

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

"It's not the walking — it's the waiting."

"What happened to what cat?"

"Say something like 'Bow-wow' or 'Arf-arf' and you'll really break them up."

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'