Pet Conversation Connoisseur Pillows

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Men gossiping

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

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"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

Dog Park Zoom

"Another slander suit!"

"What's all this?"

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

A skinny dog drawn with zen brush.

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

"Give it up—Frisbee is your game."

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

Dog Sees Only Food

"Watch his feet - if he doesn't step into the throw, he's going to fake it."

Being able to digest news quickly is a sure sign of intelligence.

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

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