Canine Communication Connoisseur Pillows

"Let's stop pretending we understand the English setters and just turn on the subtitles."

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Dialogue

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"Have you tried biting him?"

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

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'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."