Canine Communication Expert Pillows

"Sit!"

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"You don't whisper anymore."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

I sometimes feel spotted, but I never really feel seen.

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

"Have you tried biting him?"

"I think it loves us."

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Hold that thought, my love. I'm listening – I just need to pee on those daylilies."

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

"Are you happy with your current ball?"