Dog Communicators Pillows

'It's another fax from your dog.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"It get it – you're hungry."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

I guess she had other plans for you.

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'okay...where did you hide it?'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

Raised by Dogs

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"I have no thumbs."

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"You don't whisper anymore."

Collies Without Borders

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"Have you tried biting him?"

"I think it loves us."

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

'I don't think Marmaduke has ever seen a vegetarian before.'

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.