Canine Communicators Pillows

"I no longer sit up and beg. I fax grant requests to foundations."

'You want something? It has to do with your dish? Darn, I wish dogs could talk.'

"Is this seat taken?"

Testing dog whistles.

"Rags, I told you not to let Larry up on the furniture."

'He always barks when the mail comes.'

'I can't lick my itchy bum, but I have amazing hearing!'

Free Associating.

"What's that Rusty - a forest fire !"

"He's on the other line - would you like to leave a message?"

"It get it – you're hungry."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

I sometimes feel spotted, but I never really feel seen.

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"You don't whisper anymore."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"I have no thumbs."

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."