Canine Communicators Gifts

"I no longer sit up and beg. I fax grant requests to foundations."

'You want something? It has to do with your dish? Darn, I wish dogs could talk.'

"Is this seat taken?"

"Rags, I told you not to let Larry up on the furniture."

'He always barks when the mail comes.'

'I can't lick my itchy bum, but I have amazing hearing!'

Free Associating.

"What's that Rusty - a forest fire !"

"He's on the other line - would you like to leave a message?"

"It get it – you're hungry."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"I have no thumbs."

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"You don't whisper anymore."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'