Talking To Animals Pillows

I talk to cats - "What have you been doing?" "Acting Mad."

"Right, I'm going to teach you to speak."

"It get it – you're hungry."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

"I have no thumbs."

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"You don't whisper anymore."

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"I think it loves us."

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Hold that thought, my love. I'm listening – I just need to pee on those daylilies."

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

ONE HORSE TOWN

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

The bluebird of passive-aggressiveness

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.