Pet Communication Pillows

"Theo, conversation is about talking and listening!"

'He's sending an instant message.'

'It's the closest thing dogs have to blogging.'

"It get it – you're hungry."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"I have no thumbs."

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"You don't whisper anymore."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"Have you tried biting him?"

"I think it loves us."

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"Yes, that's the tree with all the squirrels from yesterday. And no, I don't know where they are today."

"Hold that thought, my love. I'm listening – I just need to pee on those daylilies."

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."