Talking Titan Pillows

"After endless delays, boarding confusion and lost luggage, it appears he's finally arriving at his conclusion."

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

"I've outgrown my backpack."

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

'Hey dude, just got the SMS of the Wild...'

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

Addiction to mobile.

Pie chart of pub conversations

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

'He's been working on 'Seven Days to Change Your Life' for 8 years and he's only reached Tuesday.'

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

It's academic

'Welcome to the rat race.'

"I'm sorry but the correct answer is not 'I'm sorry if you feel offended.'"

Yakademic: An academic who has been describing their research since they were asked about it over 20 minutes ago.

"Honey,...Oscar wants to go for a walk."

'Whose idea was it to teleconference our staff meetings?'

The Academic Brain, showing parts: teach, write, do research, and (the largest part) serve on committees.

Hazard of texting

'Things even God could not know - for $400, Alex.'

I love my mobile phone.

"Warning! Consumption of alcohol whilst using your phone increases the size of the send button by 90%."

Text in a bottle

"If they just added texting to how they calculate GDP, this economy would be growing by 20%."

'I couldn't get the beans out of the toaster.'

"Being in education, I'm very athletic — I'm a political football, a punching bag, and a hurdle jumper."

'Every time you get ready to make a call, on your mobile phone, you reach for a comfortable chair. No wonder all that air time translates into large phone bills.'

"I'll take 'Remembering things from more than 8 seconds ago' for $200, please."

'Hi! So you're the supply teacher? You're the lucky guy we'll be driving up the wall until the real teacher gets back from mat leave!'