Talent Show Host Gifts

Bob always voted for his favorite performance. It was his way of giving something back.

"Pop stardom might not be the most realistic of ambitions, Billy. I should know- I was the winner of last year's X Factor."

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

Showbiz Awards

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

Fishermen

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

The Drummer

'We'll have to end it there, I'm sorry - we're running out of time.'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Glenn Beck?'

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I neglected to talk over you."

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

Trump commissions song

"Well, now we know what Letterman's doing, what are we doing?"

"And for all of us here at the six-o'clock news—and don't forget we'll be appearing Saturday night at Mr. Fun—make it a good one!"

"So I play this guy named Stan Snorkel who finds a big, gray poodle..."

"Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston and this is Dogs Might Fly."

"Any truth to the rumor that your book is ghost-written?"

Another reason why people who are married should never co-anchor the news.

'Run it by legal and then a couple of talk-show hosts.'