Tale Hunter Gifts

Chamisso's 'Peter Schlemihl' - Year of the Bargain Elapses

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

Horror Stories.

"Well did he?"

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

Early accounting scandals.

'Oh my!...Corn circles, Roswell, aliens, pyramids - there's a connection!...'

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

'It was this big. I swear'

Good boy

'I just have an eerie feeling about this cave.'

Modern History: Last Year/Last Month/Last Week/Yesterday.

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'Do you honestly expect me to believe that fairy tale?

'I swapped shirts with Peter Crouch.'

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

The Press

Free Little Library

Not-Quite-Quick-Enough Sand

"In the old days, we used to rescue real travellers. Now, we tend to rescue so-called adventurers and thrill-seekers..."

Coastguard

"Nothing is as it seems, my son."

"The key to happiness is privacy. Hear what I'm sayin'?"

"Your story is quite the booze-filled dive into the depths of depravity. Is this your first children's book?"

Yeah, yeah, yeah - tell my editor the fables are almost done, and she'll have them as soon as

I swear, we rode right through the town and my mistress Lady Godiva wasn't wearing a thing...

'It started off as stories I told my wife.'

"My dad was a prize-winning bull too: According to Mum, he won a raffle once at the local fair..."

Librarian.

'Next time, spring for a little more, and get a GOOD GPS'