Tale Collector Gifts

Updated Fables. The Ant And The Grasshopper … And The Mosquito. IRS.

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Ghost puddle

"Define fair."

7 More Dwarfs

"I hate to spoil your porridge, but your son has a blonde in his room."

"Same hectic routine every damn year. Mind if I hang back with you?"

Who's Dead

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

Master Humphrey's visionary friends

'I've been knocking for ages!'

Library: Tall-Tales and Facts.

"I've seen a lot in my time, Ted, but it was always from the cheap seats."

Brothers Grimm

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

"Grandpa! You have to let me put those under my pillow!"

Oliver's reception by Fagin and the boys

Floods leave man and ghost stranded.

Elf Farm

Prompts on the Antiques Roadshow.

Homeless man's sign: 'Will sell book & movie rights to the story of my downfall for a cool million.'

'Plus I found this great set of porridge bowls!'

Football Manager's Parrot

"Ow! Rotten stinking sky!!"

"No, it's just that the royal inbreeding makes me look like a frog."

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

'This one belonged to a little old lady with weak eyes.'

"Beware of everything."

Little Red Riding Hood Meets Goldilocks Meets Hansel and Gretel

Dentist.

"We met online."

"You'll be sorry Charles!"

'He's not a patient. He's an antique collector. He's interested in the magazines in our waiting room.'

Jesus walks on water just as Moses parts the sea.

'What's my story? I was 'sold down the river', then 'sent up the river.''