Tale Collector T-Shirts

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"Define fair."

7 More Dwarfs

Who's Dead

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

"I hate to spoil your porridge, but your son has a blonde in his room."

"Same hectic routine every damn year. Mind if I hang back with you?"

Library: Tall-Tales and Facts.

'I've been knocking for ages!'

"I've seen a lot in my time, Ted, but it was always from the cheap seats."

Master Humphrey's visionary friends

"Grandpa! You have to let me put those under my pillow!"

Brothers Grimm

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

Oliver's reception by Fagin and the boys

Elf Farm

Floods leave man and ghost stranded.

Prompts on the Antiques Roadshow.

Homeless man's sign: 'Will sell book & movie rights to the story of my downfall for a cool million.'

'Plus I found this great set of porridge bowls!'

Dentist.

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

"No, it's just that the royal inbreeding makes me look like a frog."

Little Red Riding Hood Meets Goldilocks Meets Hansel and Gretel

'This one belonged to a little old lady with weak eyes.'

"We met online."

Football Manager's Parrot

"Ow! Rotten stinking sky!!"

"You'll be sorry Charles!"

"Beware of everything."

'He's not a patient. He's an antique collector. He's interested in the magazines in our waiting room.'

'What's my story? I was 'sold down the river', then 'sent up the river.''

The boy whose hair was on fire about some kind of wolf thing