Tactical Foodie Gifts

"We'll slice through this area here, then divide it into sections."

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

The dress uniform of the Catering Corps

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

Gaah! You sank my longship!

Wordplay: Rabbit Punch.

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

'Bless this food, and protect us from the pesticides and additives therein.'

Waiter to diner: 'I'm going to return you to the main menu.'

Good poetry & Winning teams

Gross! Get you external hard drive off the dinner table!

Food Cooked. Nerves raw.

"All we've come up with so far is that new meatloaf."

Pizza Fencing

Cannibal: 'FOOOOD FIGHT!

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

When seasons collide

'Excuse me, but is there anywhere we can get something to eat while we're waiting to get something to eat?'

Linda sets a pick, allowing Dave a clear path to the last doughnut.

'The chef's salad, sir? You'll have to fight him for it.'

HOT DOGS - Pay-per-chew

Surgeon and Fishmonger

Protesting Pineapple Pizza

Traditional chefs revolt against new 'Robo-chef'' technology.

'Needs salt.'

"Peanut butter and jelly...simple...delicious... why didn't I think of that?"

"Is it safe to assume that the meat is laced with antibiotics and the salad is chockfull of pesticides?"

Man telephoning head waiter 'We're ready to order.'

A thanksgiving dinner in a boxing ring

'Yes I know he wanted to be in the catering corps.'

'...and would you like your meal in a PDF file as well, sir?'