Tactical Traveller Gifts

'I told you to pick me up around the corner.'

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Off to see the world

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

Vaccination Passport

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

"Fow sounds of the Atlantic ocean press 1, for the Pacific ocean press 2..."

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

Gaah! You sank my longship!

The Use of Cavalry

'We'll need some time-delay remote detonators and a big brick of C-4.'

'Anything to declare?'

Safest Airline in The World

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

"Once inside, the pawns will jump out and take them by surprise."

Miniature Trailer on Desert Island

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

Free Little Library

Human males marking territory.

Trojan Chess

A guy fills up his camel with H2O in the desert.

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

Of course, Hal rented a car with economy gps.