Tactical Traveller Gifts

'I told you to pick me up around the corner.'

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Off to see the world

Vaccination Passport

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

"Fow sounds of the Atlantic ocean press 1, for the Pacific ocean press 2..."

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

Gaah! You sank my longship!

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

The Use of Cavalry

Safest Airline in The World

'Anything to declare?'

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

Human males marking territory.

Miniature Trailer on Desert Island

Free Little Library

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

"Once inside, the pawns will jump out and take them by surprise."

Trojan Chess

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

A guy fills up his camel with H2O in the desert.

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

Of course, Hal rented a car with economy gps.

'Bugger! My brain's just pulled a hammy.'