Tabloid Lover Pillows

"Quick - make something up, I've got a space to fill."

Newspaper

Celebrity Scandal

Another celebrity couple on its way to a high-stakes divorce.

Topless Newsreader - "Just for the first few weeks love, until we've captured the audience."

"Is there a good sex scandal on?"

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

Journalism student ponders which course he wants to major in.

JET (Part I)

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

"And what self respecting tabloid do you think is going to buy photos of Little Foot?"

"Are those my slippers?!"

News Headline Reads - 'Man Bites Feral Media'.

"George is fluent in two languages. English and total nonsense."

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

"She's got money and he's a 'poet'."

Weditorials

18 Days Since the Last Embarrassing Off-Field Incident.

'I want to sue my veterinarian. He didn't keep doctorpatient confidentiality and blabbed about my sex change operation to the tabloids.'

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

The Original Gossip Columns

Leisure Editor

"What's a copper nitrate...?"

'Inflated gloom!'

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

"Reverend John Ship performed the nuptials. Attorney Thomas Sims performed the prenuptials."

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

"We'd love to stay longer, but we have to go. Give this to the tabloid press. It explains everything!"

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

Welcome to celebrity hell.

'Madge, at the cake shop, has got herself a fancy man!'

'Hey! Have you heard the awful news?!'

'Oh great, now, not only am I cursed, but my photo is on the front page of the tabloids...'