Tabloid Devotee Pillows

'I only got the essentials...meat,vegetables and the tabloids!'

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

Fifty shades of Leveson.

JET (Part I)

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

Weditorials

'I want to sue my veterinarian. He didn't keep doctorpatient confidentiality and blabbed about my sex change operation to the tabloids.'

The Original Gossip Columns

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

Leisure Editor

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

'Inflated gloom!'

Inventor of wheel and discoverer of fire seen on date! More (arrow). The first tabloid.

Newscorp hacks into itself.

'Oh great, now, not only am I cursed, but my photo is on the front page of the tabloids...'

'Normally I don't like a newspaper because of its pictures.'

Man to other: 'You don't really know what it's like until you've walked a mile in another man's scandal.'

No news is good news.

"Quick - make something up, I've got a space to fill."

Magazine Lover's Weekly magazine

Charlie Sheen

"And what self respecting tabloid do you think is going to buy photos of Little Foot?"

Topless Newsreader - "Just for the first few weeks love, until we've captured the audience."

"The school newspaper's much improved as a tabloid!"

According to this tabloid article, two guys who today are a basketabll referee and a politician, were friends as kids with a business selling seashells. The referee says that one sunny day while under an umbrella searching in the muck for shells they found a bunch of slimy, loose change. Or as the tabloid puts it "Whistleblower reveals pol's shady past with dirty money and a shell company!"

'Sleaze, please.'

'Surely you could have missed one episode of Eastenders !!'

Showbiz is tough

"Elvis battles Alien, Britney weds Satan. Man, who reads this garbage?"

"Can't you forget the FT for once?"

The Ancient Enquirer: Woman Turns Into Pillar of Salt!

'Who believes this nonsense?'

Invasion of Privacy

'Don't feel too badly about your post, I used to work for the News of the World.'