Tabloid Devotee Gifts

'I only got the essentials...meat,vegetables and the tabloids!'

Fifty shades of Leveson.

JET (Part I)

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

Weditorials

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

The Original Gossip Columns

'I want to sue my veterinarian. He didn't keep doctorpatient confidentiality and blabbed about my sex change operation to the tabloids.'

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

Leisure Editor

'Inflated gloom!'

Man to other: 'You don't really know what it's like until you've walked a mile in another man's scandal.'

'Normally I don't like a newspaper because of its pictures.'

'Oh great, now, not only am I cursed, but my photo is on the front page of the tabloids...'

Newscorp hacks into itself.

No news is good news.

"Quick - make something up, I've got a space to fill."

"The school newspaper's much improved as a tabloid!"

Magazine Lover's Weekly magazine

Topless Newsreader - "Just for the first few weeks love, until we've captured the audience."

"And what self respecting tabloid do you think is going to buy photos of Little Foot?"

'Sleaze, please.'

Showbiz is tough

"Elvis battles Alien, Britney weds Satan. Man, who reads this garbage?"

'Surely you could have missed one episode of Eastenders !!'

"Can't you forget the FT for once?"

Invasion of Privacy

The Ancient Enquirer: Woman Turns Into Pillar of Salt!

'Don't feel too badly about your post, I used to work for the News of the World.'

Watch For Falling Role Models.