Tabloid Follower Gifts

Newscorp hacks into itself.

'I've bought every British newspaper, but the Tower of London is still the only place to see the crown jewels.'

Madame Tussauds updates its royal display...again!

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

'The only cuts we can all agree with are their cutting remarks!'

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

You know how Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are known as "Kimye," and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are known as "Branjelina"? I think we should combine "Lance" and "Gloria" into either "Lania" or "Glance." What do you think? I think I won't be needing a menu now, as I'll be busy gagging.

"This is no time for fightin', princess, there's a war on!"

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

US election postal vote controversy

Journalism student ponders which course he wants to major in.

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

"Ok, ok, climate change is not a hoax!"

Best Seller in Washington D.C.: Politics for dummies

"And what self respecting tabloid do you think is going to buy photos of Little Foot?"

JET (Part I)

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

Weditorials

'I want to sue my veterinarian. He didn't keep doctorpatient confidentiality and blabbed about my sex change operation to the tabloids.'

The Original Gossip Columns

UK Public Opposition To War On Iraq

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

Flu Drugs.

Inventor of wheel and discoverer of fire seen on date! More (arrow). The first tabloid.

'Inflated gloom!'

'It's the slump - looks like he's about to evolve it into a double-dip!'

Dangerous Trumpism

Remain calm, we need to talk. We don't want to alarm you. Run for your life! Oh boy. The economic news is not good. It's apocalyptic. We both lived through the depression. More like barely survived. We're seeing parallels -- lack of government investment, no-tax policies ... Fire, disease, bad cellphone coverage ... You're enjoying this too much. you said I could. Spend cautiously, Rudy. Have a back-up plan. Sell your gadgets, buy canned goods. Oh boy.

"Or perhaps we could just have them wear these 'M-for-Muslim' patches...."

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

"We'd love to stay longer, but we have to go. Give this to the tabloid press. It explains everything!"