System Analysis Gifts

Bureaucrat

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

The Computer Bore

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Reading my Critics

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

Computer Expert

'The recession is over, again.'

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

Computer monitor for a head.

Six Thinking Hats

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

Hardware and software

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

Fixing the Computer.

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

"It's very sweet of you to visit him. Mr. Mainframe doen't get out much since the desktops came in."

Computer making faces behind owner's back.

Binary Man

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

Experience-Productivity Ratio / Age-Salary Ratio.

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"And, of course, this is when all our loose change fell out of our pockets."

Business Outlook