Sysadmin Gifts

'That virus was so contagious, I'd even refrain from using the same electrical outlet.'

Service Call Showdown

System failure - calling for sysadmin...

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

In basket-case.

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

The Computer Bore

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Online form - Submit.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."