Server Administrator Gifts

"My name is the Cloud, and I'll be your server."

"May I offer you some refreshments?"

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

Ethics exam cheater.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

In basket-case.

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

The Computer Bore

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

Online form - Submit.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'