System Administrator Gifts

'You're pretty new to cloud storage aren't you?'

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Well the good news is that the system is completely secure,no one can get into it...and the bad news...It's because it's crashed!"

Bob soon began to hate his new anti-spam software.

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

STRIP Hambone: "System been down long?"

After the upgrade, crashes were far less frequent and seldom fatal.

'The boss said to get rid of all the pirated software before he returns, which will be in about five to ten years.'

'The staff are healthy enough, it's the computers that keep getting a virus!'

"The system's down."

'Is this the new input device?'

'Here comes the 64-bit local bus.'

'Ever since they installed the SPAM filter, I haven't had a single letter.'

'With the company's move to virtualization, the network hardware became obsolete. They let us keep it for the break room and they sold the furniture online.'

Monitor Reads: Now You've Done It! AAIIIIEEE...

'Spyware...what on earth is that?'

'That book is still floating around the system.'

"Don't force it. Let me call tech support."

I see the computer system is down again.

"Thank you for computerising the company - you are now obsolete, Goodbye."

'Try rebooting.'

"I see your problem"

'Right...The new system is up and running...I want every one of you to attach a lucky rabbit paw to their workstation.'

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

Internal Server error: Your server was unable to fulfill your dream request.

"The employees from the two companies are adapting very well to the merger. I wish I could say the same about the computer systems!"

'I can't be fired - I'm the only one who knows all the company's computer passwords.'

"Your new operating system has rendered all your applications and peripherals inoperable"

You're so demanding, run it yourself!

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

Where was I?

Doctor checking a system-wide information system.

"Yes, we know the system is down. Our technical people are working on it right now."