Sys Admin Gifts

Guy in Electric-Chair asks 'Have you tried switching it off and on again?'

'I don't understand it Sir, the computers have only been down for a hour.'

'Or you could look at it this way: your server is now permanently carbon-neutral!'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Frankenstein Tech Support.

'It's got a fantastic memory.'

Can you program this thing to laugh at my jokes?

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

'I was told it required a log-in...'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

In basket-case.

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

The Computer Bore

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Online form - Submit.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'