Symptom Ignorer Gifts

"It's nothing...probably something I just ate for dinner."

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

'Tell me more! That's my favorite symptom!'

M.D. Mrs. Hoskins is here to match wits with you regarding her symptoms.

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather eat this not knowing what the latest science suggests."

"Next!"

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

"Your internet researched analysis of your condition and treatment is impressive,and it would be 100% on target...if you were a goat!"

"So, when you looked up your symptoms, did it say to complain about it incessantly but never seek treatment?"

"According to this website my symptoms show that I'm dead!"

"I would have remembered if I didn't forget."

'A body temperature of 98.6 normally wouldn't worry me but this is in centigrade!'

"How's the self-diagnosis coming?"

"It happens every time we get a new piece of equipment...He won't invest the time to study the instructions and it ends in disaster."

Mort, you owe $856 on your tab. What are you talking about?! I pay my tab every month! Yes, but you've never paid the finance charge. It was clearly written on the back of the tab receipt that there's a 29.9% finance charge. I don't have that kind of money! I refuse to pay it! You can pay your finance charge in installments, but I'll have to add a finance charge. I'm calling congress!

"I knew it. I just KNEW it. How long have I had this condition, doctor? Is there a cure? Oh, God, it just had to be disease, didn't it..." Cathy finds out that she has hypochondria.

“Ha! They think changing the color to red is going to get me to pay this bill?!”

'It doesn't matter what pills you give me, whatever they're for, I'm sure to have it...'

Health MOTs will attract 'worried well'.

'Give me some sausages, I want to end it all.'

"Dr. Garcia is ordering to make a lot of changes in my life."

Christmas Quiz: Is it covid, a hangover, or just life with small children?

"The doctor says I have something called 'hypochondria'...and it's very hard to cure!"

Hypochondria reaches a peak in middle age..

"It's my ears, Doc. I can't move them. They're... they're paralyzed!"

"I'm pretty sure you don't have it, pumpkin. Plus I don't think "reverse nausea" is even a thing."

"Poison Ivy? Where?"