Sword Master Gifts

Fencing.

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Warrior Woman

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Epic Battles

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

How Swordfish Are Born

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

Decapitated coffee.

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

Corporate pirate.

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

Pub Kendo.

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

Sawrd Fighting

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

The strong corna war

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

Scheduel.

Carpenter

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

Child to another child - 'En garde!'

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

Swords for Making America Great Again